[Filter: Private]

I just have to ... be brave, just like he says. He said everything would be fine, so it will be. I won't be by myself, and no one will find this when I don't have it. So it'll be okay. Whoever that person was, it doesn't matter.

I can't be scared. I just have to be me.

Dragons, please ...

[Filter: Public]

... Robin..!!!! I just remembered, I forgot to tell you when I sent your birthday present...!!!! You might not get it for a long time, but it's on its way~!!! ♥


Um, does anyone want to do anything...?? We could do anything you wanted!! There's cards, or checkers, or, um, Terrance and I know a really nice cook in the kitchens that gives us pastries whenever we ask...!!! Does anyone want pastries..?? Or we could just talk!! Or ... um, anything~!!! ♥??

[Filter: Private]

no, no, no no no no.

it's not

I don't even know who ... unless it was




It had to be, oh, it just had to be, and that ...


ohhhh Dragons, I'm sorry. It's all my fault. I'm awful and wicked and everyone said I shouldn't think those things and it's all my fault, I'm so sorry. I just want things to go back to normal. I don't care anymore. I don't. if everything just goes back to how it was we can just be friends forever and I won't mind at all I promise. Just make everything okay. Please ... please, please please just make everything okay.

[Filter: Private]

Maybe ... Maybe, if I




oh, it's still wrong. I know it is. I need to pick someone else ... I made something for Christopher last year, so ... oh, there's Jakob. And if he gets something, maybe I can give it to Lord Kail ...?? He's nice to me, too ... well, most of them are, but ...!! It's tomorrow... I need to just pick someone.

She's ... I need to stop thinking about it...!!!

[Filter: Franelcrew]

Umm ...

I'm almost done with Robin's present. It wasn't that hard, after I found the wood...!! The letters are a little crooked, but that's okay. I just need to dye it yellow and it'll be finished...!!!! Will someone take me to send it, when it's done..??? I can't go by myself ...!!! I have letters to send, too ...

[Filter: Private]

I just shouldn't care what she thinks. I know that sounds really really mean, but ...

oh, I just don't know. And this is just ...!!! Rose Day ... Why didn't I think about this sooner??? I didn't even think about it until all of... if there wasn't a Rose Day, maybe I still wouldn't be thinking of it. ... It's awful that I'm thinking about it...!!! even if ... even if I do ... like him it's not fair to anyone to ... I was going to cook for him last year. they weren't together yet not really and I could have, even though I knew she was cooking, it would have been okay, because they weren't and maybe he ... maybe ... and oohhh why am I thinking about this now???!!!

It's stupid to think it's not fair. It is fair, he likes her and she likes him and I just have to be happy with being friends. And I am happy...!! He's my best friend ... it's not the same as Lila or Allison or Robin or even Rae, he's my age even if he's a little older and he's not family or almost family, he's ... he's really my very best friend. And even if he marries Demi he'll still be that, because he promised he'd keep me safe forever. He wouldn't break a promise to me...

I just don't want it to be fair, I want to think it's not fair so I can be mad at her instead of being mad at myself. I want to yell and cry and something but I'm almost seventeen, I'm almost grown up, I can't do things like that anymore. I have to be like ... like mom, mom would know what's right, mom or ... lila, or

[Filter: Mom, Lila, Allison]

I have a really stupid problem.

I don't know if I need help, because I know what to do. I really do. but I just ... I think I just want to talk about it, but you have to promise not to think I'm horrible. Even if I am.

[Filter: Private]

... oh, I should just ... talk to someone, even if it's just me being stupid for no reason. ...

and I shouldn't be worried about Rose Day, too, there's nothing to even worry about ... !!! It's not like I'm going to ... well, I'm not going to get a rose, anyway. Even though Terrance already has Demi, so ... so I shouldn't be nervous, I'd be just awful if I thought ... !! Even if It's just everything ... else!!!!! That's all. Rose Day will be good for everyone, holidays always make things better. I should ... I should just make sandwiches, for someone who doesn't get anything else, again. ... that's what I should do ...

.. at least And Robin's present will be great..!!! I hope I can send it when it's done. And it's my birthday soon, too ...!!!!

[Filter: Private]

... It is weird. It's not just me!! Maybe I should talk to her ... but she never wanted to talk to me, before ...

I don't know. ... It's Maybe I should talk to someone ... I know what everyone would say, though, and I know!!! It's just ... it's just weird!! That's all. ...

[Filtered from Robin]

Umm ... I know things are still hard for everyone, and ... there's more important things to do, I know...!! But ... it was Robin's birthday not that long ago, and I just can't find anything. And even if I can't send it, because of ... umm everything that happened, yet, I still want to have something for him. Because I always got him something every year and I just feel awful that I don't even have anything yet and I know it's weird, I'm sorry, but ...!!

So, um ... if anyone can help, or if you have any ideas, or anything, I would be really really happy!!! I don't have anything but umm I can give anyone that helps free hugs!!!!

[Filter: Private]

mom said he's okay. he has to be okay. he hasn't written yet, but that's okay. he needs to rest. she promised he'd write to me first. promised...!!!!

I shouldn't have ... that's okay. I wasn't thinking. ... everything is going to be okay now. Terrance is a lot better, and Robin's home, and Rae's awake and she's doing fine and all of my friends are okay. It doesn't matter if Maybe she wants to help, but she's too shy to ask. Because everyone would think it's weird, right??? ... yeah!!

yeah. everything is going to be great..!!! Robin's going to write soon and he'll tell me how many bandits he got before he got hurt. I bet it was lots.

[Filter: Terrance]

Umm!!! You look a lot better...!!!! Did you drink your tea today?? I just got a new pot, I made this one all by myself...!!!

[Filter: Public]

Can we see the baby yet???? He still doesn't have a name, does he..?? If I had a son, I would name him Gregory Robin!!!

[the page is wet and the ink is running]

the w-w-whole h-house fell it's gone. I think aimee broke her arm. I was h-hiding under the t-table and the roof just fell and it's all broken except for a couple walls and Aunt Lelani helped me out and her face is all b-bloody and it's raining and c-c-cold and I think Robin is d-dead because of bandits and I want my mom and I want my brother he can't be dead he can't. Robin you have to answer. You have to answer me Robin the whole world was shaking and you won't answer and the house fell and you can't be dead you said you were just going to the inn s-so mom wouldn't s-spank you please answer me please please please????

Last night all the water froze right to my window and when I looked through it, it looked just like home!! Well, home would have had snow instead of just ice, but ... there were even little icicles!!! They're always gone before I wake up, and you have to stay up really late to see them, but they were there...!!!!

We have to stay inside all the time, now, though ...